Elocution lessons from a 3 1/2 year old.

Me singing to the kids while they were in the bath:

See Saw
Marjory Daw
Johnny shall have a new master..(abruptly cut off by Digi)

Digi: It's not master(as Americans pronounce it). It's mah-ster (as in the Queen's English).

Me laughing quite a bit:

But Digi I say toe-may-toe and you say toe-mah-toe. I say poe-tay-toe. You say poe-tah-toe.

Digi looking concerned: Mummy, Do I say poe-tah-toe?

What a funny conversation we then proceeded to have about accents and why I speak differently. They haven't really heard my southern drawl speak that I do to amuse Nik. Last weekend I was challenged to keep it up all day and I lasted about forty minutes. As I am typing this, I'm hearing the accent.

We've been keeping really busy this half term week and I've so much to write about,specifically election day, but alas it's halloween tomorrow and there are many things to be done. I just asked Nik if he'd seen the pumpkins we carved today and his reply? "I did! I wondered if they were big enough to fit over my head but decided they weren't."

...our funny funny little world.

He said She said

Nik took Kalila to ballet class while I had a scan in hospital. No, breathe out, not a pregnancy ultrasound. He turned down the wrong little side street and was trying to turn around when another car did exactly the same thing and blocked him. Kalila piped up from the back, "Come ON car." I wonder where she got that (looks guilty). At least she didn't say something else I'm sure she's heard me fling towards wayward drivers.

Digi sand his Halloween tree song as normal. "Halloween Tree, trick or treat,bring me something to sweet to eat." And then he sneakily added, "like a lollipop" so we'd take the hint.

So back to my scan. Luckily everything looked good and they couldn't find anything untoward. She did tell me I have a retroverted uterus, which means this (thanks netdoctor):

When a nurse or doctor describes your womb (uterus) as retroverted they're referring to its position within the pelvis.

The uterus is attached to the top of the vagina and, in the majority of women, tends to lie forwards (anteverted) above the bladder. However, in a significant proportion of women (about 15 per cent) it has a tendency to tilt backwards, more in line with the vagina itself, and this is what is meant by retroverted. A retroverted uterus in itself is unlikely to cause problems unless it is being held in a fixed position by scar tissue, in which case it can sometimes be associated with discomfort. In most women the uterus is quite mobile and its position probably varies to some extent with body posture and bladder fullness.
It's not likely to have any consequences for your pregnancy either.

So now you know. I like to refer to my womb as retro womb and imagine it in a poodle skirt, horn rimmed glasses, and a beehive. As you do..

Anyway, we still need to see the consultant in the next couple of months I guess but really I am in no hurry to make a decision. It will come to me/us. If it was up to Digi, I'd be having a little boy. He asked for one about a week ago! I said to him that if we had another baby mummy and daddy might not have as much time to spend with him and Kalila. Do you know what the cheeky ragamuffin said to me? "We can go to Alan and Annie's!" And Kalila is still obsessed with little babies. She almost steals dolls when we go on play dates but instead she asks sweetly if we can take them home.

Credit Crunch Times

A few weeks ago Bam brought in a gigantic pigeon that he had just slayed. See delighted kids gazing at exhibit a...






I decided this poor pigeon shouldn't die in vain and besides that, it was the largest pigeon I'd ever seen. Larger than Nik's head. That breast was destined to be in my gullet. Speaking of gullets. Check out it's last meal...



To cut a long story short, I searched youtube for how to cut up a pigeon and I didn't even have to touch the guts with the no mess method. I won't put up any photos of the faces I made in this process but needless to say they were pretty much all like this:


The feathers were very easy to pluck but I didn't take them all out. A little slice and dice then voila....





Better than the fancy shmancy pigeon we had in town. Next peppered mole with a crispy shrew salad. Or not.

Festival of Lights

Digi handed me a little piece of painted pottery with a tea light in it when I picked him up the other day.

Me: "Nice! What's that Digi?"

D: "It's a Diva."

Me: "What? A Diva?"

D: "It's a Diva."

I carried on to the car quite happy with the answer as I'm used to made up words in this house (Plooby, Poom Poom,Slip Slop, Boom Boom, Bibbib etc). When we got to the car he told me there was a story about the Diva in his bag. I read it aloud when we got home. It was quite a story and I was fascinated. Digi was filling in bits and pieces about Rama, Situ, and the man with 10 heads. He told me all about the lights and fighting. It's cool that they are learning about festivals of different cultures.

A fitting quote to end with...

If you have knowledge,let others light their candles at it.-Margaret Fuller

I've been at the cupcakes again. I'm not planning on putting every single thing I bake on here but I quite liked the spiky icing and dalek biscuits.




They aren't a patch on these fabulous creations for Simon's birthday, by Tom's cakes.



I really recovered from the week this weekend. The party was stress free for me and the kids loved staying at Alan and Annie's. It's nice to get out of your home environment when you've been feeling stressed. It feels like a mini holiday. We even managed a 6 (?) mile bike ride and even though I was riding as if my tires were stuck in glue, I enjoyed it. I'm slow on my bike but the nice boys and kids didn't seem to mind or complain. Annie had a yummy warm lunch ready when we got back and I ended the weekend a lot calmer than I began.

Mondays are always a bit pants for me as there is much cleaning and tidying to be done after a weekend off and I can't get started but I managed to wake up on time because I was smiling about Kalila climbing into bed and waking up a sleeping Digi by saying, "Digi. I love you. I love you Digi." Monday was made that much better by a cloudberry infused facial and some yummy alphabet biscuits sent by Lumi and Valo's parents. If I hadn't already named out children, I'd steal those names! (thanks Keir m'dear for the nice treats).

Right, enough waffling on. Bring on Tuesday and more coffee.

He writes!

I CAN'T ride my bike with no handlebars.

What a wreck this week has been. We've had some nice moments but oh my god, the evil and I feel partly responsible and um evil.
For over a week now Kalila has been in ultimate fighting championship whinge mode.You really have no idea how much she was unhappy and upset. I put it down to teeth. She even said her mouth hurts a few times although she stated saying this after I asked her if her mouth hurt. I didn't twig. Skip along some laborious days where six o'clock couldn't come soon enough and the moaning continued off and on. She had some medicine and would seem happier. Easy. It's teeth. We just ride it out. I did what I knew for teething pain. Then something else happened. She stopped weeing like a normal person. She said she needed a wee. We took her to the toilet and she screamed that she didn't need one. Confused. I thought maybe she had a strong bladder or was too busy playing, stubborn, still learning etc etc. I kept dishing out excuse after excuse in my head. Then today, I lost my temper. Big style. Kalila said she needed a wee and when I put her on the potty she screamed that she didn't need one. I knew better as she was dancing around and shaking her legs about. She weed on herself only inches from the toilet. I called Nik and left some choice voicemails about how I didn't know what the hell to do. I made her help me clean up the wee, which she did more than willingly because she actually is such a sweet little helpful child. I was the naughty one. I knew she normally used the potty with no problem. I couldn't understand and this left me ill at ease. I'm usually happy with my mothering skills and it's the role I feel I am meant to do. It just fits. I feel quite strongly about this but I guess everyone has days when they suck at their job or hobby or whatever. I'm just pissed off at myself that it took me so long to figure out the real problem. Kalila had one wee at 9am and by 5m she had her second one. This is far far far too long. She had been drinking fluids, not much but I finally got the message when she screamed and cried while having a wee. I asked her if her wee hurt and she tearily replied yes and I asked her to point where it hurt. Yep, Urinary Tract Infection. It all finally made sense and I couldn't fucking believe how blind I had been. It has happened to friends of mine before and I should have known but what's done is done and she now has antibiotics and overpriced lazytown water to encourage her to drink more fluids. When I came back from picking up her medicine, she didn't want Nik to put her to bed as per her usual night routine. Despite my horrible mothering skills this week and especially today, she asked me to put her to bed. In fact she demanded it. "I want you to put me to bed mummy. YOU." I stayed in her bed after we read stories and she cuddled and nuzzled my face, kissed my glasses on each lense, and said I was funny. I think she has forgiven me and now I'd just like to take this hard learned lesson and file it away in the drawer marked "things to remember for child related issues". Other items in that drawer include:

Do not let children put peas up their noses.
Do not let your husband leave a glass of cointreau by the bed. It looks like water to children.

It's a damn good thing we have unky Si's birthday tomorrow and another apple festival. I need to unwind.

October 15th.

Beansprout
Little surprise
Capalina Blueberry

I remember you. Hope it's cozy in my heart where you now live.

The littlest ballerina

The Halloween Tree

Have you decorated your Halloween tree yet? You must do this about two weeks before Halloween. This evening Digi found some decorations that I'd bought in the sale last year so we decorated our apple tree in the front with ghosts, bats, and skeletons. While the kids were in the bath, a story came tumbling out of my mouth before my brain had a chance to catch up. See, the Halloween tree is magic. If you sing a song to it each night before you go to bed (and your teeth have been brushed because the despite giving sweets the Halloween Tree does care about tooth decay),you will be rewarded in the morning with a trick, treat, or sweet. The song goes something like this:

Halloween Tree
Trick or Treat
Bring us something sweet to eat

So we've done this and tomorrow we shall see what the Halloween Tree brings. It's a new family tradition until they catch me in the act of hanging stuff from the tree. I can't help it. I love Halloween. You are allowed to be silly and corny when you have kids. Here is video proof...

A number room fit for a Digi

Back to the future

From top to bottom
Freddy Kruger, Rambo, and Andrew from Wham.
David, the winner of best male fancy dress for his turquoise shell suit and mullet.
The glowing and lovely pregnant Tamsin
Happy Feet!






From top to bottom again
Robert Smith, Madonna, Random 80s guy
Some sort of floor dance that you do whilst intoxicated
Cyndi Lauper pose
Cyndi Lauper 80s air guitar jump (my fancy dress only required me to buy the gloves and the red tutu. What does this say about what lurks in the back of my wardrobe?)

perplexed

I just saw an advert on tv featuring john lydon aka mr rotten trying to flog country life butter. I told nik about this and he burst into song.

I am the anti-christ
I have got a butter knife
I'm into country life....butter.

Family Day in Cottenham

Each year the local village college holds a free family fun day. Basically you pick two activities from a small list and have some family time. You get drinks and biscuits in between and it's to encourage family play,which is all good. This year we did parachute play by Parafunalia which was a blast for the kids. She is available for parties and she is worth it!



Next we moved onto messy play. Cornflour and water is a big hit!





You can play badminton with a hole in your racket, a tiny foot, and one arm that reaches to the middle of your shins.

You can play volleyball even with a dislocated shoulder, one hand, and a tiny foot.

You can play basketball even if you have an abnormally long torso, seven foreheads, no hands, a wooden left leg, and different height ears.

Angelina Ballerina

On Friday I had arranged to take the kids to ballet class. It's for 2.5 years and up but I thought that if Digi was there, Kalila would feel more comfortable with me not being there as parents are asked to sit outside during the class. Despite me phrasing it as "dance class" and the flyers stating it is for males and females, he did not want to go. Luckily, Annie was at ours and agreed to stay in with Digi while we went out. I dressed Kalila in a little princess fairy costume as I've been told all the girlies dress up. It was pink and she was Stephanie so all was well. She had her wee and we set off. Emma from our village was also attending for the first time so when we got there, they sat together and I told Kalila that I'd be waiting outside. She took her seat and my nerves were cartwheeling, but only a few cartwheels, not like cartwheels in a cheerleading championship 2008 kind of way, that they will be doing when Digi has his first day of big school. I was unsure what she'd do given she has never been left alone with a stranger. I needn't have worried for a second. She jumped. She twirled. She stomped. She crawled. She ran with scarves. She galloped. She pointed her feet. She raised her arms. She did a lot of stuff I couldn't see but most of all I think she liked it. The teacher said she was a little quiet but that is just her in new situations. All the pink fairy princesses ran out afterwards and it was beautiful. I was so proud of her taking such big steps for such a little girl. I had to apologise to the other mothers for continually squealing, "aww how sweet" and "oh look at them now." They all said they still do it so I didn't feel like any more of a dork than usual. Now if only I could find a leopard print leotard with ballerinas rock printed on it.

Kalila, the ballerina. No, sorry. Kalila the Stephanie.
Somebody asked her her name today and she said, "Stephanie". Nik said, "Did she just say her name was Stephanie?" It's actually Kalila."

Slow down little fella.

I can't believe I was given DIgi's (big) school registration forms today. But he's still my little baby boy....

He loves his little school now and has asked to go before it was time to on both school days this week. I'm not proving entertaining enough despite helping them make post boxes out of cereal boxes just like they had at school. I'm so fortunate that the staff are brilliant.