sleeptalker

Last night a little boy with a warm bod crept into bed. I heard Nik say, "Go back to bed Digi." It roused me from sleep because he repeated it about three times but then he said the following:

"Go out to the car."
"Can you put your own clothes on. We need to go."
"mutter mutter school"
and a variety of things I can't remember before I asked him to, "stop talking". I think this roused him slightly and he realised he was sleep talking. I laughed to myself and fell back into my dream about driving a bus or something.

Cupcake trial numero dos

Karen and I have been decorating cupcakes for Leisha and Rich's 1980s fancy dress wedding reception. I baked the sponge ones and Karen baked the chocolate. I iced and Karen made the flowers. We used a daisy plunger and marzipan for the flowers. We tried royal icing but we were both too spaced out to make it work. I'm pleased with the results which we hastily did in about an hour and a half. I'm going to get some different plungers soon and do more experimenting.

Need some moolah?

A kind Mr Sly Bod (!) has sent me a message.

Hello, Greetings to you in the name of the lord.I am Mr Sly Bod a
registered loan lender who gives out all kinds of loan to people financially distressed. (..etc etc I'll skip to the funny stuff)
Applicants must be ready to provide us with a form of identification which could either be a drivers license or a national identity card, to put us on the safe side. (..etc etc skip to more funny stuff)
*The loan terms / conditionshall be prepared and sent to you when you have dully completed the loan application form below (forms are dull and I feel so dully when I complete them).

How could I not complete this application dully with a proposal from a sly bod?

Finally saw a doc today and they have put me on two lots of heavy antibiotics for a couple of weeks so I guess it is kind of serious. The antibiotics have very strict instructions of what I need to do when I take them (drink water, stay upright, stay out of sun, no alcohol). Both the doctor and the chemist explicitly reminded me to not drink any alcohol while taking them as it could make me extremely sick. Hmm, very bad timing on my body's part as I'm supposed to be going to a 80's fancy dress wedding reception dressed as Cyndi Lauper. Dressing as Cyndi Lauper is so much easier with a bit of tipple but alas I am going to be the designated driver. I don't mind really as I have a busy weekend of work that has been planned for weeks. I'm not feeling up to much work at the moment but let's hope the superdrugs change that expeditiously.
And yes, I will be posting photos after the party. Many many photos!!

Whew

It's so so nice when Nik is out for the evening and the kids go to bed just before 7pm and I don't hear a peep out of them.

Now I can rest and hopefully see the doc tomorrow as I'm not feeling well. Slight complications from miscarriage a month ago I suspect but we'll see what they say.

And just so you know. My daughter has changed her name to Stephanie. It's an homage to this pink girl and her fairy godmother Karen. I think I hear this phrase about seventy times a day and anyone who is around the children can verify this.

Kalila: I am Stephanie. I like Stephanie. Mummy, you are Stephanie and I are Stephanie. Digi is Sportacus. Digi you not Stephanie. I STEPHANIE!

Howard and Vince

We're going to see The Mighty Boosh on Thursday, 13th November in Brighton. I am so thrilled that I feel like shouting "I'm Old Greg". I have two spare tickets if anyone is interested in them.

cupcake trial numero uno

Kalila helped me yesterday. With a bit more time and practice I can make some very pretty things. I guess I should eat one to see if it's tasty. Such hard work testing ;-)

Surprise in September

Usually September still counts as a summer month or shall I say the last summer month. This September (and most of August) has been full of rain and for the last two weeks, a bit of the ol familiar goose pimple inducing chill. Digi has been requesting for me to put the fire on and he radiates heat usually. There is a rule in this house that goes something like this...
We do not turn on the Aga or heating until October 1st dammit because September should not be cold. Dammit. But alas, earlier this week, I admitted goose pimpled defeat and switched it on one afternoon. Nik thinks I should just wear more clothing. In order to be fully warm I need to wear fleece from head to toe and let me tell you that is just not within my fashion repertoire and never will be. Fleece from head to toe in the evenings when I hibernate but not out and about. I'm starting to lose track of what I'm meant to be blogging about. Hmm?
Ah yes, so today was such a surprise. Digi wasn't in pre school and we actually had nothing planned for a change so I decided to finally go into Cambridge. I say finally because nowadays I have to have a long list of things I need to do in Cambridge in order to go into the center. It's come to that. It's actually difficult to go around Cambridge with a double push chair on the narrow cobbled lanes and I'm aware that the kiddos don't enjoy shopping. But we decided to make a day of it. I got them dressed in snuggly clothes and we headed outside to be confronted head on with a beautiful blaring sun and a slight gentle breeze. I was in two minds about changing their shirts but didn't. We got the park and ride into town and sat on the top of the green double decker, front row. Ugh. Don't want to do that again. It felt like I was stuck to the outside of the bus, flying. I never used to get car sick but now sometimes do. It's gross.
It was a combination of beautiful weather, cute company, and some retail therapy that left me feeling very spritely. I got the children's feet measured (7 UK for Kalila and 9.5/10 Uk for Digs) in Clarks but I didn't buy anything there. They seem to get fed up if you don't purchase anything but don't care. I am very particular in how I dress and shoe my children. I tend to buy what I like and they tend to wear it. It's a good system. I'm sure it will change all too soon and they will be trying to influence what I wear. I did buy a pair of fab winter boots shoes for each of them in the John Lewis sale for £15. Result! Now they just need a pair of trainers and they will no longer be wearing shoes that are too small! Doesn't really matter much with crocs anyway (or trocs as K calls them).
We stopped by the toy shop ELC and the kids had a good play. Kalila fell in love with a baby that can be fed a bottle and cries and sleeps but doesn't shit and is plastic with an off switch. Quite different from the real ones yet quite the same? The way she was holding it and caring for it, I've never seen her quite so into it. She loves her babies but maybe because this one was giving some feedback and it was about the size of a baby, it was more interesting. It took ages to get her to leave it. I was wondering if it would make a good xmas gift. I got the catalogue on the way out.
We ate lunch at Giraffe, which is always yummy for me and child friendly. They got balloons and crayons and lunch and I got to eat messy edamame with a coffee. Strange combo but it was of the tasty variety. I got the toy catalogue out over lunch and was browsing. I came across the baby page with about twenty plastic heads all looking glazed and confused. I asked kalila which one she wanted and holy cow, she picked out the exact baby she was playing with. I know what someboday is getting for xmas.
After that we walked some more in the sunshine and came across some stunning street performers. There were about 9 Africans dancing and singing in unison. We stayed to watch for a while and the kids put some money in their hat. We carried on to Lakeland and I purchased my cake decorating nozzle kit that I've been eyeing for ages. I've got lots of plans for this baby. Digi and Kalila had a huge screaming fight in the shop just after I picked up my phone and was in the process of giving a quote to a potential customer. Wasn't good. I think the lady was put off but I was booked on the day she wanted anyway. I still bought them an ice cream afterwards. I thought it might be their last chance to have an ice cream outside on a sunny day and yes I did need a bribe as I had one last thing to buy, my Aveda face creme. Unfortunately the only Aveda shop I know of is in a gym off a tiny road in an inconvenient location. Kids were happy with their ice creams so we made a dash for it. I saw a bicycle get smooshed by a lorry just outside the shop. It didn't know that the road was tiny and inconveniently placed.
We all arrived home and flopped on the sofa. It's hard work taking advantage of a surprise in September.

A random idea

Since it's "conception" the phrase credit crunch has annoyed me to no end. It's all over the papers, news, bills, post, adverts, cereal packets, condom wrappers. Ok, maybe not condom packets yet but just you wait. Someone will come out with a condom you can use twice because everyone knows it's getting harder everyday. Hey, I just wrote the slogan. Credit crunch condoms-because it's getting harder everyday. That is so not what I was planning on writing just now. What I was trying to talk about was how this idea of marketing things off the back of the credit crunch buzz word led me to come up with my own invention for another facebook/myspace totally addictive and time consuming and equally annoying application-Myface.
The basic premise is this:

You sign up and make your own page just like facebook or myspace but it's just a picture of your face. The only people that can be on your friends list are people who look like you. Let's say a 70% match. Once you have enough friends, you all arrange to meet up a la mass mob style and freak out the Costa coffee barrister who swears he just served your twin sister. Imagine the hilarity. Or don't.
This is what happens when I drink too much caffeine. I lie in bed and my brain cells pop.

Had a lovely play date with Tamsin (of jessica and phoebe fame) and Monica (of Agastya and Lila fame). Agastya was born on the same day, same hospital as Digs and we all met in birth light class. Brownies and laughs while the children emptied out all the toy bins (and when I say children, I mean Digi). Digi enjoyed playing with Aga. He is mostly surrounded by girlies so it was nice to see him and Aga being loud boys together.

Now I am off to listen to a bit more of my favourite southern boys.

want one

Nik: They've come out with a new Iphone that I think you'd really like. It has naked pictures of Kings of Leon on it.

Me: I'll take two.

(way excited about the new album I've just listened to)

Fur is dead

Just wanted to pass this along and encourage you to check out PETA if you haven't already. I've been trying to find that anti fur video of Nik in drag dancing and me being pervy man in the background but until we do, feast your eyes on that video link.

Doesn't take much to support the actions of this group. You might even find some interesting information. I did.

Ode to a pretty girl

Ok so it's not an ode, more like a quickly written blog, but the sentiment is the same. (Miss Boo-I will write you an ode one day. your own personal ode. Do you even want an ode? It's such an odd word. Ode. I bet you'd think the ode was your friend)

Kalila is a child spilling over with happiness and zest. Not the kind of zest you sometimes grate into cakes, oh no. This zest is beautiful watch. This zest also makes me giggle a minimum of eight times a day. Kalila seems to think everyone in the world is her friend. This even applies to inanimate objects. Some objects that even the zestiest people in the world would be hard pushed to make friends with, Kalila will um befriend them. Today she informed me that poos were her friend. Anytime I am getting dressed or un, she insistently reminds me that my boobies are her friends. I'm not even elaborating. Sometimes I wish I were as she often likes to check on them and ask, "what your boobies doing?" Funnily enough, my boobies seem to spend a lot of time doing what I wish I could do more often..sleeping. Ok, time to get off the subject of my breasts. I'm sure I will be in big trouble with Miss Boo in about twelve years when she is an angry gothemogirl. It's a risk I am willing to take. She will understand and forgive me when she has her own children (otherwise I won't babysit for her when she wants to go out and see Ocean's thirty two.
She's growing up, our Kalila. When I took Digi to school on Monday, she sat down at the table and asked Tricia where her name was. The children usually go in and see Tricia. They pick out their name from the pile and stick it to the board as a roll call. Little lamb wanted to put her name on and stay. On Wednesday, I packed Digi's lunch and she wanted one as well. I didn't have a lunch box for her but we found a tin that worked as a substitute. She seemed so excited and carried her lunch to the car. She carried it in when we went to drop off Digi. She copied all the other kids and put it in the pile on the table. She didn't want to go back to the car but I made her a promise we'd find a proper lunch box when we went to Tesco. My evil plan worked. At the shop, she got super excited when she spotted a princess (pwin-sess) lunch bag. She picked it straight up and put it in our basket. Now Kalila owns a pwincess lunch bag. I try to make her the same lunch as I pack for Digi. I think it will help when she finally goes in January although she won't stay for lunch straight away. Yesterday she also started saying that Daddy would take her to little school. I think I mentioned to her once that Nik would take her in the mornings when she was ready to go. She regularly talks about going to little school now. She may be potty trained, pwincess lunch bag in arm, and ready but am I? I will be by January but not without a little piece of my heart quivering.
For now she will be pwincessy, piggy (her other love besides pink things), and friends with poos. Oh and Digi called her a blackberry fiend (a word he totally picked up from me).
Has anyone found that huge Pause button yet? I'm so glad I write down these silly things. Even if I am only able to capture a tiny fraction....

cotton candy

Digi: Mummy, I need some candy floss. There is something stuck in my teeth.

The Princess and the Pea

Hello, guest blogger here. My name is Mr Kittenhead, and I had the pleasure of taking princess Kalila Boo Kittenhead into A&E on Wednesday night, to retrieve a nasally inserted legume. It all started when I was at work, earlier in the day...

(wibbley wobbley screen effect indicating a flashback, probably with some harp glissandi)

Yes, I was at work, when I received a phone call from Mrs Kittenhead, to say something to the effect of "Kalila has stuck a pea up her nose, and she won't let me take it out". I suggested that when I got home, we would forcibly remove said vegetable, and there would be Nothing Kalila Could Do, because we were Bigger Than Her.

At around 6.00 (well, OK, 6.20), I arrived home to find the kids in the bath. After a quick hairwash, we dried the kids, and I held Kalila down, whilst Mrs Kittenhead entered her nasal cavity armed with tweezers. Much kicking, flailing and general protestation. Pea remained firmly stuck in place.

Cue usual ritual of brushing teeth, reading story, and putting to bed, whilst Mrs Kittenhead researched our options. Lots of google searches for "pea up nose". Turns out it is very common indeed - lots of people recounting stories of their children inserting peas up their hooters, but not very much advice over what to do about it. The only suggestion we had involved holding one of her nostrils closed, and blowing into her mouth, on the principle that the pea will shoot out of the other nostril. Tried it. Pea stayed put. So, Mrs K then phoned the emergency doctor for advice. "Go to A&E", they said. Surely not, we thought. Time for a second opinion. Phoned BUPA. "Go to A&E", they confirmed. By this stage, Kalila was fast asleep.

Bother.

20 minutes later, Kalila & Daddy were zooming down the road to Addenbrookes hospital. Idly thinking about possible solutions to remove pea, I came up with an idea involving a drinking straw and suction power. Fantastic idea, I thought, but as I had neither a drinking straw or a Dyson to hand, I continued to the hospital. By the time we got to Addenbrookes, Kalila was waking up a little bit. When Kalila is very tired, she is quite different to her normal self. Especially when she also has a pea up her nose. She becomes very quiet and sedate, with big owl eyes, taking everything in. We were ushered in to the children's A&E, which is full of children's books, toys, and a TV showing Fimbles. We were first seen by a nurse, who sounded quite excited that she had a "little secret" about how to get peas out of noses called the "Mummy Kiss". It involved holding one nostril closed and blowing into Kalila's mouth, and... er, the same thing I told you about in the previous paragraph. I remained optimistic, that doing the same thing in a hospital, with a medical professional, might elicit different results to our homegrown effort. It didn't; the pea wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh dear", says Nurse, "I'll go and get a doctor".

We went back to the waiting area, and read some stories. Then I decided to try to get Kalila to sleep. After about 15 minutes, she'd dropped off. Within two minutes, the doctor turned up to try an alternative method. At last, I thought, a professional, armed with the latest in 21st century medical apparatus. She then produced a sort of metal spike thing to poke the pea out with. Now, I was a bit concerned that there would be more screaming kicking and flailing, but I was wrong. It was partially because the doctor was probably more practiced with her metal spike than Mrs Kittenhead was with tweezers. It was partially because Kalila was all sleepy and spaced out. But it was mostly due to a nurse distracting Kalila by blowing bubbles out of an ice cream cone. I'm really impressed with the attention the staff of the children's a&e ward give to looking after their littlies. However, I'm less impressed with their pea-removing skills, as the pea remained stubbornly in place (and actually had possibly retreated further up Kalilas nostril). We were then transferred to Ears Nose & Throat, way across the other side of the hospital.

We were then seen by another doctor, who had a third attempt at removing the pea. This time, Kalila sat on my lap, whilst the doctor used some special springy reverse caliper things to open her nostri widely, and then used another metal spike to try and ensnare the rogue pea. Which he managed on the second attempt. The pea fell out, into my hand, totally intact and unharmed by the trauma. At which point, Kalila tried to pick it up and eat it. However, I'd been instructed to bring the pea home, dead or alive, so that Mrs K could include it on her blog for your entertainment, so I extracted the pea from Kalila's paw, and plopped it into a small bag.

Having a pea removed does strange things to a small child. Where she had been very quiet and subdued, the pea removal seemed to uncork an unstoppable stream of conversation from Kalila. She was very keen to go home and tell Mummy all about the pea. When I told her we were going down in the lift, she protested "no! not down! but I want up!". She was pointing out everything she could see around her, and talking about it, asking questions. We got in the car, and she insisted that Piggy was strapped in to the car seat next to her. Has Mrs Kittenhead mentioned Piggy before? Anyway, in case it matters, this was Other Piggy, not Real Piggy. But Kalila loves all piggies, so she didn't mind.

On the drive home out of the hospital (around 10.15pm), Kalila looked out of the window at the vast Addenbrookes campus, desolate, still, and lit up by industrial halogen streetlights, and said to me "I like it here. It's quiet". And then she stayed awake for the whole drive home, contentedly looking at the night world speed by. I didn't think about it at the time, but she doesn't get to see the night very often. I think she enjoyed it.

When we arrived home, Mummy was standing at the door, armed with a laptop/webcam already recording...

Pea gate update.

I phoned the doc just to check that K was ok with the pea up her nose. Seems they don't take nose peas so lightly and told us to take her to accident and emergency. I needed a second opinion especially as she had just gone to sleep. NHS Direct said "get yo ass down to hospital and get that shi out her nose."
So Nik and Kalila are in A&E waiting for the pea sucker to work it's magic. I've asked him to try to save the pea if he can. I'm weird like that.

Kids:

No peas in nose please.

What am I doing right now?

Bet you will never guess. I have just given up trying to get a pea out of my daughter's nose. Yes, a pea. She stuck it in there at dinner and told me about it. I looked inside and there was a pea alright. Had I been quick thinking, I would have grabbed the tweezers before she sucked it up any further. She wouldn't blow it out. She only sucked it higher. When Nik came home I asked him to bring a torch and I put her on the counter. It is just too far up there to be pulled out with tweezers and I don't want to damage her little tiny nose. No amount of persuading will make her blow it out. I'm somewhere between finding it absolutely hilarious and annoyingly frustrating. I know if it doesn't come out we will have to pay a visit to our doctor and you all know how I feel about that surgery.If they give me their usual "come back in two weeks" rubbish I swear I will shove a pea in their nose and tell them to leave it there for two weeks.
Will update you more on pea-gate as the action continues.

Now an update on me. Yesterday we went to the hospital to have bloods taken. They needed to check my hcg levels and start the ball rolling on some other tests. They took 10 vials of blood from me and 1 from Nik. I should be meeting with the doctor from the recurrent miscarriage unit within a couple of months. I'm holding up well and I've had so many offers of help and encouraging supportive messages. I'm just keeping myself busy. It helped that there was some excitement around Digi starting pre-school today. I had to pack him a lunch as he goes from 12-3 on Mondays and Wednesday (mornings on Fridays). I have never been so nervous about packing a lunch in my life. I didn't want him to be hungry and I wanted him to have all the things he liked etc etc. Silly really. I guess I was nervous in general. I needn't have been. Everything went so well. They gave him a school bag that he will take each time he goes. They will put all his artwork and papers in it along with a book that he will borrow each week from the library. There is also a book that parents can write in so his teachers know what we have been doing at home. This will help them to know what he already knows, if that makes sense, and to encourage him in areas that he enjoys at home as well. There is going to be a lot of action this year. He already came home with a paper that he wrote his name on. They wrote it in yellow first and he copied it. I think I may cry when he writes his name by himself. There is so much change happening.

We've decided to book a trip to Austin next year which has given me something to look forward to and save up for. I'm feeling optimistic at the moment. I hope my hormones are kind to me through the next few weeks.