A series of unfortunate events..

This weekend we lost capalina blueberry. I had some bleeding that started Saturday night. The staff in A & E were amazing and so helpful. They gave me a private room and bathroom away from the other patients and they did their utmost to be kind and gentle. They diagnosed a threatened miscarriage and arranged for a scan to be done today.
The scan revealed a lot of blood and a small mass of poc (products of conception) but because of the gestation period being 6 weeks, they couldn't detect anything concrete, i.e. a fetus. My blood work is showing I am pregnant with a low hcg count (around 380) as well as pregnancy tests but now the miscarriage is inevitable.
I knew there was a higher risk of miscarriage this time but I had such a positive vibe. Sadly, I was wrong.
The next step for me is to get some further tests next week and be referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit. Hopefully they can provide some answers. If I sound calm it's only because I'm on strong painkillers and I've accepted what is happening. I don't like it one little bit but I've accepted it. I was also very aware of my body and I think I knew a few days before the bleeding started. And did I mention the strong painkillers help a lot?
We've had a lot of highs and lows with pregnancy and miscarriages this year. It's time I had a rest.

Friedrich Nietzsche is right. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Nothing more to say now. x

(I have turned off comments for this post)

Potty Proud

This is a day to remember for kalila. She had all her wees in a little blue potty today including two at the park. She knows. She gets it. I'm punching the air with a triumphant smile on her behalf. I almost can't believe it.
It's not any less messy around here though as she insists on carrying the little blue potty to the toilet and likes to remark about the wee sloshing about.
We're all so proud, even Digi commends her.
And not to leave my boy out.. He informed us yesterday that he could buckle himself into his booster seat by himself. And you know what? He can. He dressed himself entirely this morning too. Something he has long been capable of but doesn't always do. If I can get them to fold laundry and unload the dishwasher before the baby comes, I'll have it made.

My babies are growing up and a new baby is growing in my tummy. It's been one of those days where I've thought, "where did all the time go and how do we have these two smart little individuals dancing around us?"

No wonder I'm tired all the time. Happy and tired (with a belly full of blueberries).

Nik's on holiday this week, well the sunny days anyway so we decided to try potty training Kalila. There is no going back now. Kalila is now officially nappy free during the day as of today! For a first day, it didn't go horribly wrong. She managed half her wees in the potty, one naked in the grass, and a poo on the potty. We even ventured out but not before we put a waterproof barrier on the car seat. It wasn't used thankfully. I'm hopeful that within a month, she'll be pretty good at it.

Last night Digi really didn't want to go to sleep. He kept getting out of his bed every three minutes. After about 45 minutes of this, I banished him from our room. When Nik went to wee him he came back in our room quickly and motioned for me to follow. Digi had taken out loads of his bed linen from his closet and thrown some books and toys everywhere. The light was on but Digi wasn't in bed. A peek into the next room revealed where he was, snuggled in with his sister. They were both fast asleep.

We decided to put up the tent in the garden this afternoon but we aren't sleeping in it tonight, probably tomorrow. Digi wanted to sleep with Kalila in the "holiday room", our guest bedroom. I made up the bed, put up some blankets over the windows to keep out mr sunshine and tucked them in. Digi was so excited but something made him yearn for his bed. I stayed in the hallway for a few minutes to hear their funny conversations when DIgi appeared and went into his room. Kalila soon followed. I can hear them giggling. It's way past bedtime but I'm not going to do anything about it. I figure they deserve a break from the norm as well. This could all backfire but we'll see....

Tomorrow I discuss the Romans.

One day at a time...

Newark conceptions proudly announce it's latest development: Capalina Blueberry------------->


I've decided to forego the standard three months waiting period before telling people, as you can see! There are several reasons for this.
1. Most of my friends know already.
2. I need all the support and reassurance I can get.
3. I'm feeling very positive about this one.
4. I look about 3 months pregnant already.

It's very very early days but I'm hoping 3rd time lucky.

You may be thinking, "but didn't she just have a miscarriage?" Yes, yes I did and this certainly did surprise us. Finding out you are pregnant twice in one month really does um surprise one mrs kittenhead.
I have a somewhat crazy set of emotions going on which range from delirious excitement to utter trepidation. I'll try to steer more towards the realistic happy medium.

Please Please Please hang in there little tiny capalina.

More positive news soon I hope.....

a bit slow..

with the posts. We've been so busy doing papier mache (just flour and water), maize maze (got free pass if you want to come), pasta necklaces (soak pasta in surgical spirit or rubbing alcohol for US and food colouring), baking (see caroline for butterfly inspiration), swimming (kellogs free tokens yay), bowling (Digi got a strike on the first go. 112 score) etc etc. It's been really easy to keep the kids entertained this summer thanks to a couple of gals who have given me some fun craft ideas. Anymore ideas, please pass em on. Now I am tired and must go eat some spaghetti before I use anymore poor parentheses.

funny faces...

A shocker

You know when something takes you completely by surprise and you start spontaneously shaking? That happened to me this evening. I will update more once I have swallowed and digested it.

My kids are weird.

They both put a knee up on the edge of the bath and squatted up and down while singing, "knee piddups knee piddups."

They have their own language. Newest word to the dictionary is:

Bip-said at the end of songs signaling a final stop. Mainly appears after Ma Ma Ma Ma Me Me Me Me Mo Milkshake... Bip

I have so many stories to catch up on but I find myself staring at the screen and halfway watching the telly. I'm distracted by fashion. I'll use my brain cells tomorrow.

sos

Will someone please shut down etsy. I cannot keep my eyes off it. So many incredible and wonderful artists. Can I have one of everything please? Well, maybe not everything.


I totally heart etsy.

When your mind's made up

A little red lovefilm package slipped through the door last Friday. In it contained Heroes and a movie called Once. I didn't remember adding this one. Nik didn't remember adding this one. Quite frankly the description of a romantic musical didn't make either of us leap for the dvd player. In fact we played a ping pong of, "you must have ordered it. No, YOU must have ordered it." Both of us practically trying to pin the blame of the movie choice on the other before watching it. It's as if we kind of thought Lovefilm had thrown this one in our package because they felt sorry for it. We have had rogue films that we don't remember ordering in the past. Let me say this with some exclamation...This is going to be my album of the year. I know it. (ok slight competition with the KOL album coming out in Sept)

Stick with this film and open your ears because it is entirely beautiful and the music throughout is hauntingly honest and beautiful. I tried to find a better word than beautiful but there is nothing more to describe it. I haven't been drawn in to music so quickly since I don't know when.

I will admit that this won't be everyone's cup o' tea and you need to get your head around the fact that this isn't an average movie. It is a musical but in no way like your hairspray or grease. It took me a long time to get into it because I went in with the wrong frame of mind but it kicked my shin and said, "put down that laptop and pay attention post haste girl. you will like yes?"

I like, yes. Just thought you should know.

(mr amazon please deliver my package of ear sweeties soon)

He knows the way to my heart...

I was getting ready for my diner out with some girlfriends and Digi said to me, "Mummy, you look pretty."

ahhh

Earlier today he said to me, "pay your ticket please." When I asked how much, he sweetly said, "five kisses."

ahhh